Depreciation and Gratitude
I've been putting myself down a lot lately, I've looked down on myself, underestimating my intelligence and smartness. I try my best not to do so, even though it's nearly impossible not to. I guess it's humane to look down on yourself, to feel disappointed and especially to compare yourself to others. Everybody works differently of course, and something very important is to at one point in life just learn to be humble and to accept and live with your flaws and defaults. Your weaknesses shouldn't be a reason to hold yourself back from doing what you love.
I've had this constant feeling of disappointment and disillusion. I'm a dynamic and hard-working person, but I feel like those characteristics don't show all the time. I unintentionally compare myself to others leaving me feeling less worthy, dumber and less accomplished.
Your school years evolve a lot around grades, being good or bad and comparing yourself to others who acutualize everything while at the same time having a social life filled with adventures and partying til you drop, while you work your ass off and you manage more or less to pass, but you're not necessarily satisfied with your results. I do this all the time, without even realising. But what is it doing for me though by underestimating myself and my capacities in relation to others? No good comes out from this.
Everybody will have advantages and disadvantages in life, and what we have to focus on is our talents, what brings us happiness. The things we struggle with should simply not dominate our minds and cause us unhappiness. Why bother caring about things we don't like anyways? All you can do is do your best, then that's that. There's nothing more to it.
Things you love doing is in the end what matters and it is often what contributes to where you'll end up in life, as long as you listen to your gut and go with your instincts, and you trust your endowments.
Intelligence is so broad and there are millions of things within being intelligent, since when though does intelligence have to be related to your skills within for example scientific and mathematical subjects? Why should artistical intelligence be considered as something less intelligent?
If you think about it..Everybody's intelligent in one way another, and we all strive to find different ways to express ourselves to show this.
I want to be careless and reckless. I want to find an inner peace with myself and accept my flaws and disclose my strengths. For now, the most I can do is my best, I can't do much more than that.
life's a motherfuckin voyage so make it count
-caro